Losing my hair felt like a private struggle.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, not even the people closest to me.
If I spoke about it or complained about it, I just felt like I was being overdramatic and vain. The thing is, I desperately wanted to speak about it. I wanted to speak about it everyday. I worried that if I brought it up too often that the people closest to me would have ‘enough’ of hearing about it.
So I had to be strategic in the way I brought it up and how often. I found ways to strategically weave it into conversation. I needed to tell someone I was struggling. I couldn’t. I felt so ashamed. Embarrassed. I felt like I couldn’t be ‘me’ anymore. I scrolled and zoomed on old photos and analysed when my hair was ’normal’ and tried to pinpoint the moment where it went wrong. How could this be happening to me? Hair loss was never meant to happen to me!
I would analyse everyone’s hair as I lined up at supermarkets.
I was googling ‘celebrities with hair loss’.
I would look at people eating unhealthy foods and people who smoke cigarettes and think, ‘why the hell do they have gorgeous hair? And I am here with my green juice losing all mine with every hair wash day’.
I remember the amazing salon scalp massages, not having to think about whether the stylist was analysing my hair fall. I laugh at how I would be worried that the hairdresser would get my colour or cut a bit ‘off’…what I would give to just have to deal with a ‘bad hair day’….those words have a whole different meaning now.
When you first start experiencing any form of hair loss, whether that be rapid or minor, it can feel so isolating. You feel wrong to bring it up with even the people closest to you.
Finding a community where I could openly share my experiences was a massive ‘cure’. It can be hard to seek out the ‘good’ when it comes to hair loss, but trust me when I say that there is hope and so much good. It may not seem like it right now, but, the day will come when you will be free of your #hairloss thoughts and it will not consume your mind.
What is the number 1 thing that helped you get into a more positive mindset?