Long, thick, luscious hair has somehow been intertwined into the societal definition of ‘femininity’. Like so many other things (a tiny unachievable waist, perfect skin, hairless legs), our hair is seemingly attached to us being women. For some women, their hair used to be their ‘super power’. Long, Hollywood locks defined their femininity.

I’d love you to think about what other ‘super powers’ you have. Are you an absolute whizz in the office? An incredible public speaker? Do you always remember the little things, like people’s birthdays or anniversaries? Are you the backbone of your family? The ‘mum’ of your friendship group? Is your determination in life something others admire? Are you a style icon always putting together the most badass outfits?

Whatever it may be, find your superpower, something that isn’t attached to the physical. Because you are so much more than what’s on your head.

Feeling like you are losing your femininity along with your hair is such a common theme. And it really is based on such outdated views. I totally get that the feeling is hard to shake. I’m still trying to shake it myself. I try to remind myself every single day that the opinions of society are not opinions that I really care about. I mean who woke up one day and decided women had to have long, thick hair? Is that really something I want to buy into? Is that something that makes me feel good? NO WAY!

Changing the Narrative

So how do we change this view of what it means to be ‘feminine’? It’s important to remember that these things that may be seen as ‘feminine’ are mostly only supported by men who aren’t even familiar with the concept of deodorant. And do you really care what they think?

So let’s redefine this definition of femininity. To me, femininity is more of an attitude, it is not something that I gauge depending on the length of my hair. Sometimes I feel my most feminine when I have a 24” long blonde wig on, and sometimes I feel my most feminine when I’m rocking a bald head. Sure, the hair changes, but the person doesn’t. The person underneath the wig is a confident, assertive, kind, loving, boss b***h woman; and that doesn’t change when the hair comes off. It is YOU that dictates your femininity, not your hair.